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Lawyer or family nursing home business
from Lost in Philly

Question: Dear Dr J:

I am in a tough spot. My job with a commercial brokerage firm is feeling tenuous and unsustainable due to the economy. I've only been there a few months and have yet to close any deals (some good ones in the works). My fear is that there may be lay-offs in the office where I work. On top of that, my wife wants me to leave the job anyway because it is not financially sustainable -- and I have a terrible commute. I am a lawyer by trade but have only been out of law school for a short while and not really worked full-time as a lawyer. I'm thinking about quitting my job and going to work for my dad (he runs a nursing home business)…but it is not really what I want to do. Help!

Answer: Dear Lost,

So many people are finding themselves in similar situations these days. It is tough all around -- and I'm sorry to hear that you're not having the success you were hoping for at the brokerage. The most noticeable thing about your letter is that you don't mention anywhere what you WANT to do. Based on what you've said, I'm going to assume that you enjoy working at the commercial brokerage and would like to stay there…if you could weather this economic downturn. Here are the two "life-shifting" principles that I would suggest you think about before making any big decisions:

1. Counter-intuitive as it may seem, being in a rut or a stuck place is NOT the time to make reactive decisions. It is a signal to step back, reflect, and take stock of who you are and what you desire to be. Situations like the one you describe ask you to be extra creative and open to possibilities that you might not see because you are blocked by fear and anxiety. Instead of thinking about yourself as a "lawyer" or a "broker," think about yourself as a "creator of value." What do you love to do? What are you particularly good at? At the intersection of these two dimensions is the "sweet spot" -- something that you could do to add value and make a difference possibly at either a law firm, a brokerage, or your dad's firm;

2. The solution may be right in front of you. More often than not, when my clients find the answer to their career dilemma, it is not by "networking" or sending out resumes but by connecting more deeply to the people they already know…and both asking for help and offering to help. The key to successfully "shifting" the dynamic of a downturn is to "be" to the solution to someone else's problem: your boss, your colleagues, your friend, your dad, etc.

Hope this helps. Best of luck!

Dr J


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