Answer: Dear Anxious,
Thank you for your heartfelt note. It brings back memories to me of my first couple of years after college...many years ago! I graduated with a degree in philosophy and music (very practical!) during one of the worst recessions we had ever had (until now!) and was, like you, very much at a loss for finding my "job footing" for the first couple of years. In fact, I "fell" into a job in the hotel business -- and through a labyrinthine of unlikely bumbling steps, eventually found my way into Human Resources...and back to my first love: psychology. But it took a while...more than 10 years!
So, my first piece of advice for you is simple: be patient. The good news is that you are very young...and have a long, wonderful journey ahead of you. My second thought, in terms of job hunting, is this: do something fun...that pays the bills. Don't be overly concerned about the "career" aspects of your work at this point, instead think about what you enjoy doing--what industries excite you? what kind of activities do you enjoy? What are your hobbies?--and look for work in these areas, even if it is very administrative or temp or even volunteer...something that gets you in the door...and out of bed in the morning. Volunteering, can, in fact, be a great way to get started working in the non-profit world!
Keep your expenses low...and focus on finding something you ENJOY. Even when you are 22, life is SHORT...not worth it to get a job that you don't like or work with people that aren't having a great time. Worry less about the "content" of the job...and more about the environment, the people, and the experience. Resume building takes time...so why not enjoy the ride?
Now, a few words about anxiety. The key to letting go of your anxiety is to recognize that it is perfectly NORMAL to be anxious. Anxiety is usually caused by a mixture of fear of the unknown...and excitement about CHANGE that is occurring. We make it worse by thinking that it is BAD or unacceptable or that something is wrong with us for feeling it. Nothing could be further from the truth. Anxiety is just energy that builds up in vulnerable spots in our body--and feels "intense" or "panicky" -- but it is really just adrenalin rushing through the system. Anxiety -- what actors and athletes also feel just before a big performance -- is not positive or negative in and of itself...it is HOW WE SEE it that really makes the difference.
On the other hand, the energy of fear can be deeply debilitating if we let it take over and rule our physical and emotional system. Next time you feel anxious, try to breathe deeply, tell yourself that it is perfectly OK to be worried (who wouldn't be when there are so many unknowns in the future?), and that "this too shall pass."
Make sure you are exercising your body ALOT right now--do yoga, running, or whatever activity really gets your heart pumping and the energy flowing. When I used to go through difficult periods of change and stress--that brought on anxiety--the antidote that worked for me was a long bike ride. I would get my heart pumping, move the energy, breathe deeply, take in the beauty of nature...and eventually my anxious thoughts would shift to creative thoughts...of possible futures, dreams and visions. MANY of which have come to pass.
Bottom line: lighten up. Just find a job in an environment that interests you...and be sure to make great contacts and offer to help people where ever you can. It is the people you meet along the way, and the role models and mentors that you find along the way, that will make all the difference, not whether the job is the "right" career position for you at this early stage.
Think of your career as one great big adventure--and remember that you are just getting started. Anxiety will turn to excitement...and stress will evolve into possibility.
Stay in touch and let me know how things unfold!
Cheers,
Dr J
