The Miracle Cure
Have you noticed that a very powerful, if rather insidious, new marketing tool has been invading your life more and more lately? If you think about all the multitudinous ways in which marketers get to us--through billboards, TV ads, direct mail, tele-marketers, etc.--then you won't be surprised to find they have discovered, and are quickly saturating, a new access route: the in-box. I call it "Miracle Mail". These are those ubiquitous emails that seem to arrive from the North Pole, dropped down our broadband chimneys by nefarious marketing elves, in the middle of the night. These emails generally have two key attributes: 1. the tag line is short, seductive and offers you the world (usually for free!); 2. they are exruciatingly long, with drawn out anecdotes and testimonials, written in a multitude of fonts and colors, and you must either read all the text or be smart enough to jump all the way to the bottom to find the link to the miracle product (which is only free at the beginning...you pay the residuals forever!!!).
Now, of course, like all marketing schemes in the free-market West, there is nothing inherently evil about these distribution tools. You can always just click on "delete" and move on to other more pressing matters at hand. The problem with them, as you and I both know, IS THAT THEY WORK! Yikes. The real "miracle" of these irritatingly lengthy, pithy and potent email blasts, is that we find ourselves READING THEM...and sometimes, more often than we like to admit, BUYING THEIR PRODUCT....or worse, signing up to receive even more miraculous email offers. It is rather like discovering that you have a virus in a single organ and then consciously choosing to spread it around until it takes over the whole body!
OK. So what does this tiny tirade have to do with Life-Shifting, you ask? Well, as I was reflecting on another key principle and practice in the Life-Shifting process, what I like to call "going within", I couldn't help but think about the miraculous practice that I offer to my clients in this regard. It struck me that maybe I should package it, put together videos, workshops, and maybe a book or two, and get out there with my own email blast! I could make a fortune.
But wait, truth is, there is really nothing to my miracle cure; it is a simple practice, accessible to anyone, requires no skills or products or tools whatsoever. It requires no training, no reading, not even a half-hour infomercial to understand, adopt, and execute. Of course, since when has offering NOTHING MUCH in the form of a miracle cure not been worth millions?! (I'm reminded of Lucille Ball's famous adventure with the cure-all of her day: "Vita-Meta-Vegamin". Funny thing, with the power of the placebo effect that we know well today...it probably worked!). But, I do digress (which is what those nasty emails do, right? And we keep going, right? HAH!)
Ok, you're on to me. But here's the thing: I'm having fun with you, yes, but I am not selling anything. Really. I'm just taking a rather long, circuitous route to sharing a wondrous little technique for learning more and more about the most important thing you can ever study: yourself. You. Inside and outside and all around, the way to shift your life is to learn as much as possible about how you work". In fact, whenever you feel that your life is not going the way you'd like it to, or that things are happening too fast, or you have break-downs all around you that SEEM to be coming out of nowhere, the key step in discovering the meaning, the reason, and the cure for these things is GOING WITHIN. Learn about yourself. Ask the tough questions: what am I doing that is creating this energy of change, of chaos, of overwhelm, of illness--whatever--in my life? How am I contributing to the quality of my own life? The bottom line is that once you've turned 18 (or so, everyone is unique), you are fully responsible for your life. Every other perspective makes you the victim. And as much as we all like to play the victim once in a while, blaming the outside world for all our woes, this approach NEVER WORKS. The victim stance becomes the blame game, which as we all know if we stop and think about it for a moment, you never win!!
On the other hand, if you can figure out how to go within and learn to study yourself, you can discover the key to changing everything, to shifting everything in your life, by changing yourself. You still with me? Do you still believe that there is no link at the bottom of this blog that cuts right into your wallet? Good, cuz there's more. As the saying goes, "there must be a pony"...there is, there is. I promise.
But we have to ask ourselves: how do we "go within"? It sounds so simple. About now, most counselors, and most teachers, head toward meditation, contemplation practices, and prayer. The most common approach to stepping back and observing your self is through the myriad of meditation techniques that are proliferating in spiritual and alternative health circles. I am a huge fan of these practices and highly recommend John Kabat-Zinn's work on mindfulness in this regard. But learning to practice meditation takes time, effort, and discipline. It is a great way to learn about yourself--but not the miracle cure that I'm offering here...not by a long shot. There is a simpler, easier, faster way (oh, yes, and it is free! hee hee).
Let me share an example of how my miracle cure works. A few months ago, I had a client who was doing great work in crafting and manifesting the life of her dreams: she found a new man, got a big promotion, bought a fabulous apartment with a doorman (for New Yorkers this is nirvana!), and so on. But there was one small, nearly life-crushing problem that just wouldn't seem to go away: she panicked at the thought of giving a presentation in front of a group. No matter what size group, as small as ten, as large as one hundred, she would clam up and shrink like a little girl when called upon to present, literally freezing up with fear. Now, it is a well-known fact that public speaking is one of the most fear-inducing activities that people are called upon to do in life, so this might not have been such a big deal, except that this client had a vision of herself as a leader--and leaders lead. Leaders lead groups. Leaders present. It is what they do. So for this individual, emotionally falling apart at the idea of presenting to her peers, or her staff, or, God-fobid, her superiors (!), was a show-stopper.
As you might imagine in this kind of situation, I recommended speaker-training for her. And, to a certain extent, it worked. She did a number of executive presentation workshops and learned the key principles and practices of effective public speaking. Her technique certainly improved, but the fear never receded, and no matter what she did to stop it, she would still get overwhelmed with fear, until one day, I gave her my miracle cure. Once she started using one little practice, a small seemingly imperceptible technique for GOING WITHIN and learning about her deeply fearful child-self, the fear began to subside. So what the heck am I talking about, you ask?
Well, I guess now would be the time to put the hyperlink on the phrase "click here" and you will be taken down the rabbit hole to that long form which ends with you giving me your credit card number! Not. Ok, I give. No tricks. Here's the deal: The technique that I most recommend for getting to know yourself better is this: think of yourself in the third person. That's right. That's it: speak/think/dialogue with yourself as if you were a "he" or a "she" instead of an "I" or a "me". Try it right now. Ask yourself these questions: What is he/she feeing right at this moment? Why is he/she reading this blog? What is he/she learning about him/herself right at this moment?
How does it feel to step outside yourself, just a little, and think different? The idea is to watch yourself as if you were watching someone other than you--to gain distance and a new perspective, to look through the microscope at yourself, to train the periscope on you. The key to all learning is found in the POWER OF OBSERVATION. But as all doctors and scientists will tell you, you cannot see anything new if you don't get some distance--emotional and/or physical--from the thing you want to study. And, so it is with ourselves.
In the case of my client with the extreme phobia about executive presentations, she realized that in the moment of having to get up in front of a group, she becomes a little girl. Hence, the only way to "cure" the phobia is to dialogue with herself, but not the adult self who is filled with blame and shame and self-loathing, no, she needs to talk with the little girl...to calm her, to hold her, to nurture her, and to tell her that it will be all right. And lo and behold: it will. She (the little girl) loosens her emotional grip on the adult and lets go, letting my client step up in front of that group AND SHINE.
It works. It sounds very simple and it is very simple. At first, it feels weird to go around thinking/talking to yourself in the third person, but NO, you are not coming unglued. You are not insane. I promise. You might want to try writing in a journal in this way, writing about how he/she felt this and did that today. Or better yet, interview yourself in this manner, and when it feels strange or you find yourself feeling self-conscious about it, remember one thing: YOU are the most interesting subject in the world. No one else needs to know you as well as you do--so get to it!
Now I've got to run and make a meeting with my marketing guys. There's got to be a way to make millions off of this miracle cure...get ready world, I'm heading to your in-box!
Peace,
Dr. J
Now, of course, like all marketing schemes in the free-market West, there is nothing inherently evil about these distribution tools. You can always just click on "delete" and move on to other more pressing matters at hand. The problem with them, as you and I both know, IS THAT THEY WORK! Yikes. The real "miracle" of these irritatingly lengthy, pithy and potent email blasts, is that we find ourselves READING THEM...and sometimes, more often than we like to admit, BUYING THEIR PRODUCT....or worse, signing up to receive even more miraculous email offers. It is rather like discovering that you have a virus in a single organ and then consciously choosing to spread it around until it takes over the whole body!
OK. So what does this tiny tirade have to do with Life-Shifting, you ask? Well, as I was reflecting on another key principle and practice in the Life-Shifting process, what I like to call "going within", I couldn't help but think about the miraculous practice that I offer to my clients in this regard. It struck me that maybe I should package it, put together videos, workshops, and maybe a book or two, and get out there with my own email blast! I could make a fortune.
But wait, truth is, there is really nothing to my miracle cure; it is a simple practice, accessible to anyone, requires no skills or products or tools whatsoever. It requires no training, no reading, not even a half-hour infomercial to understand, adopt, and execute. Of course, since when has offering NOTHING MUCH in the form of a miracle cure not been worth millions?! (I'm reminded of Lucille Ball's famous adventure with the cure-all of her day: "Vita-Meta-Vegamin". Funny thing, with the power of the placebo effect that we know well today...it probably worked!). But, I do digress (which is what those nasty emails do, right? And we keep going, right? HAH!)
Ok, you're on to me. But here's the thing: I'm having fun with you, yes, but I am not selling anything. Really. I'm just taking a rather long, circuitous route to sharing a wondrous little technique for learning more and more about the most important thing you can ever study: yourself. You. Inside and outside and all around, the way to shift your life is to learn as much as possible about how you work". In fact, whenever you feel that your life is not going the way you'd like it to, or that things are happening too fast, or you have break-downs all around you that SEEM to be coming out of nowhere, the key step in discovering the meaning, the reason, and the cure for these things is GOING WITHIN. Learn about yourself. Ask the tough questions: what am I doing that is creating this energy of change, of chaos, of overwhelm, of illness--whatever--in my life? How am I contributing to the quality of my own life? The bottom line is that once you've turned 18 (or so, everyone is unique), you are fully responsible for your life. Every other perspective makes you the victim. And as much as we all like to play the victim once in a while, blaming the outside world for all our woes, this approach NEVER WORKS. The victim stance becomes the blame game, which as we all know if we stop and think about it for a moment, you never win!!
On the other hand, if you can figure out how to go within and learn to study yourself, you can discover the key to changing everything, to shifting everything in your life, by changing yourself. You still with me? Do you still believe that there is no link at the bottom of this blog that cuts right into your wallet? Good, cuz there's more. As the saying goes, "there must be a pony"...there is, there is. I promise.
But we have to ask ourselves: how do we "go within"? It sounds so simple. About now, most counselors, and most teachers, head toward meditation, contemplation practices, and prayer. The most common approach to stepping back and observing your self is through the myriad of meditation techniques that are proliferating in spiritual and alternative health circles. I am a huge fan of these practices and highly recommend John Kabat-Zinn's work on mindfulness in this regard. But learning to practice meditation takes time, effort, and discipline. It is a great way to learn about yourself--but not the miracle cure that I'm offering here...not by a long shot. There is a simpler, easier, faster way (oh, yes, and it is free! hee hee).
Let me share an example of how my miracle cure works. A few months ago, I had a client who was doing great work in crafting and manifesting the life of her dreams: she found a new man, got a big promotion, bought a fabulous apartment with a doorman (for New Yorkers this is nirvana!), and so on. But there was one small, nearly life-crushing problem that just wouldn't seem to go away: she panicked at the thought of giving a presentation in front of a group. No matter what size group, as small as ten, as large as one hundred, she would clam up and shrink like a little girl when called upon to present, literally freezing up with fear. Now, it is a well-known fact that public speaking is one of the most fear-inducing activities that people are called upon to do in life, so this might not have been such a big deal, except that this client had a vision of herself as a leader--and leaders lead. Leaders lead groups. Leaders present. It is what they do. So for this individual, emotionally falling apart at the idea of presenting to her peers, or her staff, or, God-fobid, her superiors (!), was a show-stopper.
As you might imagine in this kind of situation, I recommended speaker-training for her. And, to a certain extent, it worked. She did a number of executive presentation workshops and learned the key principles and practices of effective public speaking. Her technique certainly improved, but the fear never receded, and no matter what she did to stop it, she would still get overwhelmed with fear, until one day, I gave her my miracle cure. Once she started using one little practice, a small seemingly imperceptible technique for GOING WITHIN and learning about her deeply fearful child-self, the fear began to subside. So what the heck am I talking about, you ask?
Well, I guess now would be the time to put the hyperlink on the phrase "click here" and you will be taken down the rabbit hole to that long form which ends with you giving me your credit card number! Not. Ok, I give. No tricks. Here's the deal: The technique that I most recommend for getting to know yourself better is this: think of yourself in the third person. That's right. That's it: speak/think/dialogue with yourself as if you were a "he" or a "she" instead of an "I" or a "me". Try it right now. Ask yourself these questions: What is he/she feeing right at this moment? Why is he/she reading this blog? What is he/she learning about him/herself right at this moment?
How does it feel to step outside yourself, just a little, and think different? The idea is to watch yourself as if you were watching someone other than you--to gain distance and a new perspective, to look through the microscope at yourself, to train the periscope on you. The key to all learning is found in the POWER OF OBSERVATION. But as all doctors and scientists will tell you, you cannot see anything new if you don't get some distance--emotional and/or physical--from the thing you want to study. And, so it is with ourselves.
In the case of my client with the extreme phobia about executive presentations, she realized that in the moment of having to get up in front of a group, she becomes a little girl. Hence, the only way to "cure" the phobia is to dialogue with herself, but not the adult self who is filled with blame and shame and self-loathing, no, she needs to talk with the little girl...to calm her, to hold her, to nurture her, and to tell her that it will be all right. And lo and behold: it will. She (the little girl) loosens her emotional grip on the adult and lets go, letting my client step up in front of that group AND SHINE.
It works. It sounds very simple and it is very simple. At first, it feels weird to go around thinking/talking to yourself in the third person, but NO, you are not coming unglued. You are not insane. I promise. You might want to try writing in a journal in this way, writing about how he/she felt this and did that today. Or better yet, interview yourself in this manner, and when it feels strange or you find yourself feeling self-conscious about it, remember one thing: YOU are the most interesting subject in the world. No one else needs to know you as well as you do--so get to it!
Now I've got to run and make a meeting with my marketing guys. There's got to be a way to make millions off of this miracle cure...get ready world, I'm heading to your in-box!
Peace,
Dr. J
—Posted by Dr. Jeff Hull at 9:30 AM
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